- If you’re under 30, get yourself a “shower buddy”. He’ll keep watch and chase away any old perverts who try to get too close – for whatever reason.
- Don’t believe television programs about prison. They either make prison look glamorous or portray problems that don’t exist in real life, while simultaneously ignoring the real problems.
- The “tough guys” are usually the worst traitors, especially when dealing with rivals and jealousy. Don’t be disrespectful to them, but don’t hang out with them either.
- If you don’t use drugs or drink alcohol, join Alcoholics Anonymous or a drug rehabilitation program. Completing such a program will look good on your record at a parole hearing or with your future parole officer. These programs don’t really work anyway, except for recruiting informants.
- Even if you don’t like it, accept everything you’re given. Perhaps you can exchange it for something you want, like, or need.
- Wherever you are, sit with your back to the wall.
If that’s not possible, sit facing the door. - In every prison, 25 to 35% of inmates are “confidential informants.” Whatever happens, therefore, happens with the knowledge and consent of the staff.
Do not trust prison hotlines or prison psychologists. - No matter how well you behave, only informants receive lenient probation conditions. Depending on the crime, only informants can receive probation at all. Good behavior ensures you a lifestyle that meets the legal minimum requirements.
- Never listen to family who say, “Behave yourself and you’ll be out soon .” Never listen to what outsiders say about prisons.
Not even your lawyers. Even if you include a parole clause in your agreement, it won’t be honored if there’s a hearing at that time. If your offense was so serious that you had to include a parole clause in the agreement, you’ll be granted a hearing—but your parole will be denied. - If you have grounds, you can sue the prison.
But don’t use the internal grievance system. Don’t
tell the other inmates a word about your legal action.
And remember that judges and juries in civil courts are very biased against prisoners, no matter how convincing your case is. - Never try to form a prisoners’ union.
Many thanks to the anonymous author of the original answer.