This patient came to the hospital because he went to a restaurant. And now he was really itchy down there. He did not mention the restaurant bit when he lowered his pants in the consultation room, and was medically examined. But this particular story obviously missed a piece.
He definitely had a rash in his private area, and it definitely looked itchy — and even a bit scratchy, but whatever he explained about his recent medical history, he seemed to leave something behind. Something essential.
When my girlfriend (who is a urologist) asked him bluntly about the story he wasn’t telling, the patient stopped talking, and lowered his head. Almost sobbed. And then suddenly said that he went to a restaurant with his wife and children, and that he needed to go to the restrooms. And that there was a man, and something in his head snapped for no reasonable reason.
And he had done things so out of character that once he realized what he was doing, he ran out of there — back to his family. And his life was hell since that happened. The man was so confused that he felt like his head was exploding, and he hated every inch of his body for what he had done.
And he wanted to have it erased from his life, before it became a stinking stain that would never go away, and darken his dreams into ever-lasting nightmares of guilt.
The diagnosis was an STD.
Because he visited a family restaurant.